Pastures New (Dreamer)

[Casalynn Laymont]

This was something she had to do. Ever since she had come back to Camelot, she had avoided doing this very thing but it was not a thing that could be side-stepped for ever. Constantly niggling at the back of her head, threatening to overcome the several positive steps forward to take her back to square one again, but that was something she could not allow. Time away from Camelot to clear her mind had given her opportunity to set a new slate for herself and to put down all of her past insecurities to be replaced by new dreams and amibitions which so in the past had only been shot down before they even had chance to blossom. Yes, she was going to visit the place her unspeakable Guardian was put to rest- a feat that he more than deserved!

Casalynn slowly and silently ambled into the stunning settings of Hagmoore Green, navigating herself through the beautiful parks trying her best not to double take and go back the way she came. For several days now she had got up to this point, turning back to bail on closing the door on the whole thing, yet now was the time to do so. She had been living with this guilt and unsettlement with his death for far to long now and she was forced to make herself realise it was the best thing and not her fault at all.

Carrying on walking at her slow pace, she managed to proceed her past benchmark and walked further than she had of previous. She was soon to be standing just outside the gallows where the oakwood platform stood brandishing several hangman's nooses which fluttered ever so carelessly in the wind. There was a strange sense of calmness as she stood there, her innocent and inquistive eyes brazing over the atmosphere which put a steady, gentle rythmn to her fluttering heart. Maybe this had been a good move after all?

Cass raised an unnervy hand to her head placing several falling strands of brunnette hair behind her ears as the wind dancing around her blew up her unfastened hair. She struggled to keep control of her plain black cloak that was beginning to rise and fly in unison with the wind until she lowered her hands and placed them heavily by her side to stop her dress from lifting. Despite the heavy winds though, the day was pleasant and clear, with the early morning's sun standing over her to shine their rays of warmth, overcoming the frostbitten chill that had infected the air during the night. As much as she hated to admit it, she couldn't deny the harsh world's beauty which was here and present to comfort her in such a difficult time. And slowly and steadily her recovery process was beginning to progress in leaps and bounds- and it couldn't have come sooner!

[Jasen "Dreamer" Masters]

It began as a walk and would become a journey

Dreamer was avoiding having to prepare his pack for the coming journey. He was to leave on his first order of business in a nearby country. Ever since he had become the Guilds Representative work had been slowly arriving at his desk until he had almost none. With no papers to sign and no guild matters to deal with, he had more time on his hands then he knew to deal with.

Dreamer considered reading or learning, yet that had no appeal at the moment. He had considered taking the stage at the Ram again, but he had not been there in forever. He did not know if he was even welcome, seeing as he didn't wish to convey why he had been missing. In the end, he came to the conclusion that he would go for a brisk walk.

That was a few hours ago

Dreamer couldn't stop, he kept going, avoiding the things he would have to face eventually. Packing, making preparations, making decisions that leaving often left you, ironically enough. The one thing he had no wish to do was to say goodbye. He dreaded the thought of it. Especially when he realized he had no one to say goodbye too.The few people that Dreamer was intimatly equanted with would either be busy or he didnt wish to worry.

That, or they were dead.

Which was what brought Dreamer towards Hagmoore Green, in a moment of memorial. Dreamer hadn't seen the death of his friend Dante, but he had heard many stories of it. The battle between him and Arthur, the songs were endless. Dreamer watched as the noose's swung in the breeze, and he got a chill down his spine. Dreamer felt a certain respect for Dante in his choice, no matter what he did, he would never feel the the course touch or a chocking rope.

Then he saw her, probably the last person he expected to see.

Casalynn

[Casalynn Laymont]

Spending your spare time wandering around the Gallows may not be perceived as normal but sometimes it did wonders for settling down the many straying thoughts that became difficult to tame, so for Casalynn it was bound to be beneficial. Having to face this mostly alone though was the hardest of all for there was not many people in this world that Casalynn had, and the ones who were either missing or dead. But hey, she had come to terms with that a long time ago for being the only one left in your rapidly weigning family became easily adjustable.

Cass was almost ready to turn back now that she felt she was beginning to become more and more at ease with what had happened and she had battled with her first mission which was to re-visit the place where he was killed, the next was to visit his grave before putting it all to peace and finally moving on with her life for she was not contented to sit back and let it take over her, or else he would have won.

Drifting her eyes over the atmosphere, her face quickly crumpled into a manor of confusion and slight shock. Was that Dreamer? She stood for a second, wondering if she had been seen by him and not knowing whether she should turn back or go up to him and say Hi. Oh, who was she kidding, of course she was going to do that! One of the only things she had missed about leaving Camelot was leaving Dreamer without a goodbye, it had been difficult for her as he had helped her in so many ways; she hoepd he wouldn't be too angry with her for soing such a thing.

"Dreamer?" She walked over to him, gently lowering her hood and raising her curious eyes on a face of whom she hadn't seen in what felt like years. "It's been a while" She couldn't disribute the fact that she had missed him- enormously and the fact that he would stood only several feet in front of her seemed to fill her insides with a sort of joy she hadn't felt since the last time she saw him. "It's nice to see you" She beamed, all thoughts of her uncle now disappating out of her mind compeltely.

[Jasen "Dreamer" Masters]

How odd, on his trip to say goodbye to that of his dead friend, he stumbles upon another he had lost. Lost and now found, the irony was almost humorous. He watched as Casalynn approached him, pulling down her hood and giving him a glimpse of the time she had been missing. She seemed brighter, lighter than she used to, it was a good look for her.

It had been something he had hoped for, yet for it to happen in the time that they had been away from each other. It was slightly painful to the heart, to know that his friend was getting better without him. Then again, he wasnt sure if they were friends. She had been missing, and his efforts to look for her had not been enough. As the unknown outcast of his guild, he had little influence of the courts. With little influence, came a lack of information.

Then again, no effort needed, she was right in front of him.

His heart skipped a beat again. Dreamer would admit to having had a crush on her, and was surprised he felt it again. Especially when he was so unsure of her feelings for him, seeing as she left without notifying him. For a moment, he considered checking this off as just another thing he didn't wish to deal with, but changed his mind.

He had to know.

"Where have you been?" Dreamer asked. His voice held no harshness, yet no sympathy. Dreamer was hurt, and he was doing his best to hide, so he did so behind a non-nonchalant tone of voice.

[Casalynn Laymont]

"Where have you been?"

The million dollar question. Where had she been? Ordinarily, to any other person than Dreamer she would not have said but this was him. He was trusting and she knew whatever she said would be kept within the confines of his mind never to be uttered except if she said otherwise. She would trust him with her life; she had done and for that he always held a special place in her heart for never, ever turning her away in her hours of need. He had been her solid rock when she was battling with her struggles so to be asked a question such as that she felt it more than deserved an answer.

For a second Cass seemed to hesitate, forcing a break in her naturally guarded, untrusting habits before she lowered her head and stared towards the ground. She found it difficult to speak about her feelings, especially about what had happened but she knew Dreamer would never judge. Raising her head to keep eye contact, she smiled silently reminissing about her trip and escapade away from Camelot.

"Since" Her voice wavered and broke slightly, forcing her to stop to clear her throat to set a straight tone. "Since my uncle.." She was unable to say those words or carry on that particular sentence but she proceeded nevertheless in her explanation. "It crushed me when I saw him hanged, I couldn't face up to the fact it was all my fault even though he was a dispicable excuse of a man. I just needed an escape." She ran a hand through her hair and still managed to keep a smile through talking about something that she felt so uncomfortable with.

"I feared if I came to say goodbye to you I would either not go or you'd talk me out of it. It was honestly something that I really had to do" She hoped beyond anything he would understand and would not resent her for the fact she had not been there for him like he had been her. " All I did was travel. Took residence in Mercia and then Ealdor before coming back to Camelot after I made sure I was of a right mind to do so." Scratching the back of her neck, she momentarily broke eye contact to apologise. "I'm sorry" She felt it was the least she could do, apologise. But he deserved so much more.

[Jasen "Dreamer" Masters]

Dreamer watched and listened, his stare unwavering as he heard the truth he had yearned for. She had kept herself to the open road, far far away from the safety he could have offered. As a rare occasion, Dreamer wanted to feel anger. He wanted to show his frustration, he wanted to break apart right there and do....do....something. Yet he couldn't, this was Casalynn. He felt not qualm for her, nothing but the fear that his anger stemmed from.

Dreamer took a step forward and pulled Casalynn into a giant embrace, and squeezed. "I missed you" he said, "You should have come to me, i would have come with, or at lease made sure you were safe, you shouldn't have done this alone". Dreamer fought back tears as he embraced the truth that it really was Casalynn he was holding, and not an apparition his mind had conjured for himself.

His anger, although still grasping onto his heart, was never directed at Casalynn. It was always pointing its blade at Dreamer. He had felt personally responsible for Casalynn's disappearance, and it was merely because he didn't know where she could be that he had never sought her out. Because he would have, for her.

[Casalynn Laymont]

Casalynn was expecting some sort of angry retort or some harsh words as to how selfish she had been for leaving, and to be honest she wouldn't have minded. She wanted some sort of reaction which would help her to feel better for having left in the first place; she was just happy to be back now. It was only now she was beginning to realise how immensely she had missed him, for when she was away she had managed to talk herself out of such feelings and running away from such a thing made it easier for her not to think about memories of which were painful to her. But none of that mattered now, she was a new person.

She was beginning to brace herself for what he was going to say, but before her brain had managed to catch up with what was happening he engaged her in a heart-warming hug. She couldn't help forming a huge smile on her face as she too hugged him back, how had she managed to cope this far without him she would never know!

"You should have come to me, i would have come with, or at lease made sure you were safe, you shouldn't have done this alone".

"I felt it was something I had to do by myself, but if it's any consalation you would have been the first person I would have come to" She was already beginning to feel better being inamoured by his presence and she had found in the past whenever she was with him all of her worries took a back seat. "It was strange not being able to see you everyday, coming to think of it now I don't know how I ever managed without you!" She laughed, the rich sound of laughter having been the first since her return to Camelot; it felt strange to laugh after the solitude and seperation of travelling alone, but she knew this wasn't the case now.

"Anyway, enough about me. How have you been?" Ever the selfless Casalynn, she asked genuinly intrigued and interested to hear about what he had been up to since her departure.

[Jasen "Dreamer" Masters]

It was worth it all to see her smile, to see her laugh. It warmed him to know that he caused that, that he was the reason for her happiness. It was nice to see her glad, especially to see him, it made him feel lighter.

"Anyway, enough about me. How have you been?"

Dreamer didn't enjoy the fact that the discussion had changed to him. His life had changed dramatically in the time that Casalynn was missing. He battled with Chase, he gained the title of Guild Representative, and he met Raven.

Raven...oh

Dreamer's innards began to twist as he thought about his...well he wasn't quiet sure what she was to him. He figured they may have been in a relationship, yet that had never been officially announced. Especially since Dreamer still felt conflicted with the fact that Dreamer's feelings for her had been because of the influence of Raven's deities.

He was so confused.

Yet he was going to tell her that, so instead he decided to avoid that particular subject. Instead, if he did have to offer anything, he would tell her about everything else. He couldn't tell Casalynn about Raven, not yet.

"Alot" Dreamer said, "What about you? Anything different?".

[Casalynn Laymont]

Casalynn stood to study his face as he swiftly changed the subject on to her. He specified that 'alot' had happened although that didn't stand to tell her very much at all. She swallowed her curiosity though as she did not wish to push things any further but something in the back of her mind told her he was holding back.

She had grown to know him quite well so learnt to read his facial expressions and knew something was on his mind, yet like her maybe he didn't like sharing things that were so personal. It had been a struggle to her just to think about her Uncle nevermind say it out loud and to someone who was eager to listen as well. Funny thing was though she left like a ten ton weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had heard a saying once, A problem halved is a problem solved and know she was only just beginning to realize that maybe they were right.

"What about you? Anything different?".

"Um different? Plenty I suppose. Since leaving it's taught me how much I love this place- don't think I'm going to want to leave anytime soon. When you spend so much time alone it makes you value just how important having company is, it was a lesson I hadn't realised. Not to say that my journey wasn't enjoyable though. Stayed with the druids for a few weeks that was certainly.. very eventful if you'd call it that. I was a stones throw away from certain death as the camp was raided by a gang of bounty hunters but I deemed myself perfectly safe." She said as she smiled, liking the fact she was picking the good points out of leaving rather than just shedding light on the bad. For in truth it hadn't been solely miserable, minus the speight of bad news she had come to recieve during her departure.

"On my way back though I heard word that my father had been captured. He was on the run see, it's why I got sent to Camelot.. anyway I'm hoping to recieve a letter from him before he's sentenced" Funny she had never told anyone that story. But somehting about Dreamer told her he wouldn't go shooting his mouth off to the people who were hoping to cuff her as well for it wasn't even her fault or even her fathers. Frantinising with a Dragon Lord though was a very serious crime in her home town. Her words weren't exactly lined with sadness or sorrow, they remained stiff toned and unemotionless. She had had plenty of time to come to terms with this and had done her grieving for such an act a long time ago. She knew the day was going to come sooner or later for no one could hide their entire lives. In fact, she was almost relieved.

"But my stories are of no concern, I don't wish to bore you with my decrepid ramblings" She smiled, drawing her cloak from around her to cuddle her figure to keep out the best of the rapidly deteriorating weather. "Mind if we take a walk? I'm not sure this is such a place to linger for very long." She said, before remembering one of her former questions she had been meaning to ask." Oh, and I've been meaning to ask, when will you next be performing in the Ram? I assume you still play?" Or at least she hoped so. He always did have an overwhelming talent for performing and music.

[Jasen "Dreamer" Masters]

Dreamers fist tightened as he listened to Casalynn tell how the camp she was resting in was raided by bandits. The fact that she was a stone toss away from harm, it only proved that he should have been present during her adventure. He was tempted to say, "I told you so", but felt that it was not wise to do so.

Then he listened to something more personal. For the first time, Casalynn shared something about her past that he felt was more than she was normally comfortable sharing about. She told about her father, and how he was the reason she was living in Camelot in the first place. Dreamer's first reaction was to assist with the situation. That was his sole thought as he listened, and he came up with only one solution.

Her father would have to have magic though, or he could do nothing.

Dreamer decided to ask later, he didnt wish to push the envelope quite yet. When Casalynn asked to walk, he nodded and began to walk beside her. He hadn't been expecting her next question, and it hurt him to answer her. "I have been...busy" he said, "I havent played since you left".

[Casalynn Laymont]

Casalynn was glad for the walk, for lingering around the gallows much longer would have eventually sent her insane. It wasn't really a fitting place for such a reunion, especially as it was a place of death it didn't do much for her mood at all. Plus the weather was beginning to worsen and the frost-bitten winds were beginning to nip at her skin sending a frozen shiver down her spine so she figured to be moving would fight off the worst of the declining weather.

She was hardly dressed for such an outing though. Wearing a blue silk woven dress and delicate white lace shoes wrapped around in a warm cloak that otherwise, would have seen her freezing to death. Initially she hadn't planned to be out long, thinking it was going to be a quick 20 minute walk to help clear her head. She was not expecting on any level to bump into Dreamer so soon, she would have thought if anywhere she would have seen him it would be in the Ram, for that was where she had first met him. Thinking back to those days, it seemed like such a long time ago. Unlike other memories though, the ones that were shared with Dreamer seemed to be stamped with more clarity in her head whereas the other's were distant and cloudy especially those involving her Uncle. Those were memories she did not wish to remember.

"I havent played since you left".

Busy. That was his reason? As she seemed to remember, music had been his passion and she sincerly hoped along the way such enthuasium had not been squandered or misplaced. The last sentence though confused her somewhat. Had he stopped playing because she left or was it a coincidence with the two such events taking place? She wasn't sure, but one thing she was certain of was his music not only put a smile on her face, but on everyone who happened to listen. The ordinary citizens of Camelot were sitting in the absence of his music and as she distinctly remember, listening to him had been the only reason why she went.

"Well you should start playing again. You're so brilliant at it it'd be a shame if you gave it up and I'm sure the regulars of the Ram feel the same. I'm gonna make it my personal mission to see you playing there again" She beamed, a slight skip in her step now as the drain on her mood was lifted following departing from the gallows.

[Jasen "Dreamer" Masters]

"...I'm gonna make it my personal mission to see you playing there again"

"I hate to disappoint" Dreamer said, with a tone of sarcasm as he did. It wasnt a lie though, he would hate to disappoint her. Yet, he felt that he had no other choice but that. Dreamer was not sure if the Ram owner would even allow him back on stage, let alone in the building.Dreamer realized he must have disappointed many people, people who looked forward to hearing him play.

His life had just gotten so hellish. Battling enemies left and right, trying to progress farther just to stay alive, and maybe help a few people along the way. Dreamer had not given up music so easily, yet he couldn't enjoy himself and do his job. In the end, he had chosen to protect rather than entertain.

He was going to protect, no longer confined to the walls of Camelot.

"I don't think your going to hear me play anytime soon Casalynn" Dreamer said. He took a moment to let it sink in before he said, "I have to go somewhere, i don't know when ill be back".

[Casalynn Laymont]

Casalynn was slightly beaten down by the fact she heard Dreamer would most likely not to play in the Ram again. She had loved turning in on a late weekday night to hear Dreamer's elloquent songs being the born entertainer that he was, yet at the same time she understood his reasons for giving up the, what was hobby. At least she thought she did anyway. Everyone got caught up with other matters that devided ones attention which left little time for less important demeanors, which in Dreamer's case was peforming. She had to admit she was a little disappointed yet still proud of Dreamer nevertheless, it was his decision and not for her to impose.

"Maybe you'll find your way back there again. You never know. Life has subtle little ways of taking you back to the things you know" Casalynn said light-heartedly, drawing her cloak from round her figure to arm her against the gently blowing wind. Dreamer not playing in the Ram as he used to she could handle, but what he said next took her by surprise. Two bombshells on one day? He was going to go away, not knowing when the next time he would be back, something slightly harder for her to swallow than the first.

She stopped dead, mid-stride falling behind Dreamer somewhat as she seemed surprised by what he had just said. The knot in her stomach growing slightly as she realized once again she would be seperated from him for an uncertain amount of time in which she didn't like the sound of anymore than the first time she had had to leave him. "Your leaving?" She said simply, trying to retain the emotions from surfacing on her face. She wasn't sure what to say now, for her next question had already been answered. He wasn't sure when he would be back.

"Ive only just come back and now you have to go too? I suppose at least I can say bye this time" She swallowed the large frog in her throat and tried to make light of the situation the best she could. Walking around Camelot and knowing Dreamer may not be there too was not an appealing thought to her. He would come back hopefully. She felt not inclined to ask where he was going but simply "Will you be okay?".

[Jasen "Dreamer" Masters]

Dreamer stopped a few paces away from Casalynn, and did not turn. They both needed what space could be offered at the moment, what time was available to think, to mourn. Casalynn was the first to speak, and her words spoke the very irony he had considered himself. It was a tragedy fit for an epic poem, or a novel, as she returns he must leave. She states that she at least has the time to say goodbye, possible a humerus comment, but he found no solace in comedy at the moment.

"Will you be okay?"

Not the question he had expected, he almost wanted her to ask him where he was going. It would have been much simpler than the truth he forced himself to speak. "I am always in danger" he said,"withing and outside of Camelots walls". It was true, he had not gone a day without having to look behind his back. Always alert, between the assassination attempts and the outright challenges, Dreamer had not found safety in recent times.

He turned to look at her, to see her reaction, to answer her questions. He turned to be there for her, as long as he had available.

[Casalynn Laymont]

Temporarily dropping her gaze to the ground, she withdrew her eyes from the dusty footing in the ground and back to Dreamer as he spoke. Casalynn got the feeling that he seemed to be more obligated to leave, maybe to do something or carrying out a duty rather than a holiday or a means of 'finding oneself' as she had done. More than anything she sincerly hoped that he would be okay, for such news as his prolonged return was something she didn't want to hear never mind the fact there would be the slightest chance that he might not come back at all. But she was pessimistic and knew Dreamer was more than apt, and gifted to look after himself. She had learnt that much.

"I am always in danger.. within and outside of Camelot walls"

This fact she had always known yet never truly taken heed off. He as a part of the magicians guild and with that it automatically gained dangerous missions and enemies as a result; nothing was ever without its risk. She wouldn't beg him to stay nor make him feel guilty for it, she knew it was something he most likely had to do so to stand in his way would be foolish and more than selfish. She could not hope to keep him here forever. He had his own life to lead, yet she would remain here for however long she would be needed.

Within the space of a few minutes, this had turned from a accidental reunion to a preperation of a goodbye. Hopefully only for a short time before he would find himself back, in one peice preferably.

Casalynn took a several steps forward to close the gap between Dreamer and herself, smiling lightly before she spoke as the friend that she was to him. Placing a hand on his and giving it a ressuring squeeze, she was quick to drop it before she continued. "Well you know I'm always here for you. I'll be watching your back and anticipating your return. I don't want you to leave but I know that you must and I certainly won't stop you. I hope everything goes as you have planned" She kept her smile long enough to ask "When do you have to leave?"